I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
