if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
