Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
