she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
