just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
