okay pat passed out under dana's car
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
