even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
