she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
