Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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