What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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