no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
