hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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