On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
