Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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