Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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