This girl is more easily done than said...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
