went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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