M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
