We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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