Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
