Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
