Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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