Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
