it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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