There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
