I'll bet she douches with gravy.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
