I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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