Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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