Already got asked if we're dating
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
