what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
