while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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