Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
