Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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