butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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