Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
