We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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