I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
