dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
