he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
