why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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