Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I deserve this hangover.
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