You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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