White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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