This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
