Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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