Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
