That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
