i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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