Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
