I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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