great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just want to make out with him forever
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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